How do I type a smiley face that means, "I'll cut you."

Ok so Robyn from the 8th floor told me about this website this morning.

It has consumed my morning. The address is www.overheardintheoffice.com

Here are some of the best I read:

VP, using Instant Messenger: How do I type a smiley face that means, "I'll cut you."

Employee #1: How's your burger?
Asian manager, with messy burger: Good, but it's hard to eat...
Employee #2: It would be harder to eat with chopsticks!

VP: I just completed sexual harassment training! Who's gonna be my first victim?
Assistant: Me!

Customer squinting at 'No cell phones' sign: Why do we have to turn off our cell phones? What happens if you use them in the tanning bed?
Tanning consultant: You'll die.

Programmer: Okay, so he asked us for a digital signature solution to document tracking and approval... Ideas?
Analyst: What if we got a couple midgets, and bought a few Etch A Sketches...?

Bimbette news assistant: I'm going to go to Target tonight and find something real Jewish and bring it in... Oooh, maybe I could find a piñata -- a Jewish piñata... With a menorah for a tail.

20-ish peon #1: I have to go and see my sister and her new baby.
20-ish peon #2: You'll come back smelling like babies. I love that smell.
20-ish peon #3: They smell like uterus.

Office girl: Hey! I haven't seen you in a while, how've you been?
Office guy: Oh, I guess you haven't heard. Half my ear was bit off [turns to show bandaged ear].
Office girl: Oh my god, that's awful! Human or animal?
Office guy: Human.

Happy Friday!